Day 60 - 8-15-08 I'm Going Home!

I'm going home today everyone. Not much more to tell you than that. I will continue to update the Blog and keep you informed as to how I am doing. As for right now, thank you for all of your prayers, thoughts, emails, text messages, phone calls, and other support.

Day 58 8-13-08 Getting Close

This will be a short post to let you know that my blood counts are beginning to come up nicely. Am still dealing with a rash (side effect of medication). I am no longer on any infusion bags and remaining antibiotics being administered through pills. I had a platelet transfusion yesterday and today. Pray that the platelets will begin to rise on their own. Getting close to going home.

Day 49 - 8-4-08 To God Be the Glory

Well, hi folks! I have not been very diligent about keeping my Blog up to date lately. But I figured that you were probably not interested in my fevers, rashes, and gastrointestinal issues.

We received some good news today. Psalm 37: 7 : "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;"The results of the bone marrow biopsy done on Friday have revealed that my bone marrow is "Clean". This means that there were no residual leukemic cells identified in the sample. This is extremely good news. It doesn't mean that I am in remission or free of cancer, but it does mean that whatever little cells are left in the bone marrow. none of them are the "Bad Guys". We will just see how the white cells grow back. I don't know what else to say other than giving thanks to the Lord and to all of you with your prayers and thoughts.

I know that those of you who have visited me are impressed with my hospital room, the view of the lake and the technology that I continue do some work. Right now, we are getting a down right nasty Chicago thunder storm and I am watching lightening bolts skip across the city. Put all of that aside it is day 49. How many of you think that you might have some challenges believing in Psalm 37:7. It has been difficult, but I knew God was in full control.

With this news, it is simply another waiting game to rebuild my cells and make sure none of those bad guys reappear. I am hoping that I get released somewhere around day 60.

I continue to battle some of the side effects of all the medication not to mention the lingering effect from the chemo (BTW my chemo dosage was 10X compared to the first round. I think they were just warming me up in the first round and then hit me with the nuclear dosage in the second round.

God Bless All of You. Send me a note when you get a chance.

Day 35 - 7/21/08

Hi Folks:

Well, the eight days of fever is behind me and I am feeling much better. I am now into my fifth day of chemo of the second cycle. So far so good. Of course, there will be the lag effect on my counts and potential fever again. I am just taking it one day at a time.

This round of chemo includes a new investigational drug designed to breakdown the "inhibitor" molecules which maintain the high resistance of the leukemic blast cells ("the bad guys"). So as ironic as it is that my business is about helping pharma and biotech companies conduct clinical trials, I am now participating in one. The idea of this new drug is to break down the resistance of the Bad Guys to open it up for the two chemo drugs to kill them off.

Please pray that this second round of chemo will do the job and enable me to get out of this place. The reality is that I am still facing another three weeks in here, so I am just trying to take it "One Day At A Time".

I look forward to the day I can go home. God Bless.

I Have to Believe

I haven't written anything in a while because quite honestly, I haven't felt like it. I've been in somewhat of a holding pattern for the past 8-10 days because of an ongoing fever. I'm living one day at a time and trying to remember that God is in control.

Here is a song that Jackie sent me. I hope you are encouraged as I was when she first sent it to me: I Have to Believe

I'm starting a new round of chemo tonight. I will give a better update to you soon. Thank you for all of your prayers.

7/3/08 - Day Seventeen

The journey continues with its highs and lows. Thank you for all of your prayers and support. I continue to feel well with minimal side effects of the chemo treatment. I have had a low grade fever over the last couple of days and the team is still trying to determine the source of infection. In the meantime, they are pumping me full of antibiotics. And of course, my blood counts are at rock bottom, which is actually a good thing. The chemo isn't doing the job unless all cells are killed as it doesn't distinguish between the good cells and the leukemic (blast) cells. Basically, I have no immune system (white cells and neutrophils) and therefore am at risk of infection. My platelets are very low. Platelets enable the blood to clot, which means mine doesn't at this stage. Any shot I get or minor bump turns into a bruise. I have received 5 units of platelet transfusions so far and will continue to receive additional transfusions until my platelets begin to build. So it goes without saying, I am not using a straight edge to shave. I also have put one of my hobbies aside for the time being; that being playing with and sharpening knives. :>)



In case you missed it, the above paragraph covered some of the highs at this point of the journey. Yesterday, was a bit disheartening as I learned that my bone marrow biopsy showed some residual leukemic cells in my white counts. The physician team wants to do another bone marrow biopsy on Monday and get a clearer picture of exactly what exists and what therapy we should move to. Most likely, I will begin a second cycle of my previous chemo treatment with DNR and AraC to get after those remaining nasty leukemic cells. The prognosis is that the doctors are not surprised and are confident that a second cycle will "nail" the residual blast cells. What this does mean is that my stay at Northwestern Memorial Hospital will be extended an additional 3 - 4 weeks (ugh!). This is a tough one for me as I was already going "stir crazy".



I think I mentioned before that I have been studying Psalms. I think I can relate to David. Many times our timing for answers to prayers and God's timing are very different, not to mention the outcome. Like David, I found myself really down yesterday including going through the "why me" and "anger" stages. Yet through God's grace, he actually reminded me yesterday to continue to believe and have faith.



Here is the story: I was going through my work emails yesterday, which included an email from one of the managers in the company. We exchange emails on occasion with the subject being sports, sports teams and athletes. In this case, Tom sent me an email telling me that he met Tim Brown yesterday and Tim autographed his Notre Dame football. Now for those who don't recognize Tim Brown's name, he was the Heisman Trophy winner in 1987 and went on to play for the Oakland Raiders for a number of years. Anyway, Tom attached a jpg picture to the email of his ND football autographed by TB. When I opened the picture, sure enough I saw TB's autograph and his reference to winning the Heisman in '87. There was one additional item that TB had written on the football and that was a reference to "Psalm 37". If you are interested, go read Psalm 37. It deals with themes of fretting, having patience, anger,etc which I definitely experienced yesterday. For example verse 7 reads "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him...."; verse 8 "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath..."; verse 30 "The mouth of the rightwous man utters wisdom and his tongue speaks what is just"; verse 34 "Wait for the Lord and keep his way"; verse 39 "The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble". This email "out of the blue" had a huge calming effect on me yesterday. Some people may call this a coincidence. I call it an example of how God sends us messages to keep our faith. I am so thankful for his grace and his desire to sustain those who believe in him. The biggest challenge is accepting that sometimes are desires are not necessarily his desires.



I continue to experience incredible support from numerous people. Please continue to pray for my physical and mental state through this journey. Your prayers for Gail, Amanda, Jackie, and Beth are also appreciated. I have had some "rich" time with each of them through visits, phone calls, emails and text messages.

One Day At A Time!

6/23/08 - Day Seven

Here I am on day seven. I am now on my last bag (24 hours) of AraC. That bag will finish out at 5 AM tomorrow morning. Hooray! That will complete my seven days of targeting poisoning, which effectively what chemo is. With the posioning comes the challenge of keeping everything in balance in my system. One day at a time.

My treatment has gone well. I feel well. Haven't been nauseated; no mouth sores, and overall feel pretty good. I did have a bit of a rough Friday evening and Saturday when I had a low grade fever. The hospital staff was all over that. I was back on the stationary bike yesterday morning feeling relatively chipper. I am now on a regimen of antibiotics.

I played some games yesterday with Gail, Amanda and Elliott. They didn't let me win! They are so competitive. I wonder where they got the competitiveness from? It is a joy to be humiliated in a game with those you love! ::> Speaking of humiliated, I also enjoyed watching the Cubs pound the Sox this last weekend. Sorry Sox fans!

I know I still have a rough road ahead over the next few weeks as my blood counts continue to drop. I know that God's grace and peace is with me. Several of you shared verses about God's grace through your emails. The book of I Peter has had special meaning to me over the last few days as I think about Peter who was with Jesus in the early days of his ministry and was a witness to Christ's sufferings. Peter saw the glory of Christ's coming kingdom and wanted to encourage us in our daily christian lives and duties. Specifically, I Peter 5:20 "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast". God sacrificed the ultimate with his son dying on the cross for our sins. I pray that each of you personally experience the grace of God in your lives.

As I enter into week #2, I thank you for your continuing encouragement. As I keep my focus on "this race", my next key milestone will be in about a week when they will perform a bone marrow biopsy to see how effective the treatment will have been. Please pray for a positive outcome.