The journey continues with its highs and lows. Thank you for all of your prayers and support. I continue to feel well with minimal side effects of the chemo treatment. I have had a low grade fever over the last couple of days and the team is still trying to determine the source of infection. In the meantime, they are pumping me full of antibiotics. And of course, my blood counts are at rock bottom, which is actually a good thing. The chemo isn't doing the job unless all cells are killed as it doesn't distinguish between the good cells and the leukemic (blast) cells. Basically, I have no immune system (white cells and neutrophils) and therefore am at risk of infection. My platelets are very low. Platelets enable the blood to clot, which means mine doesn't at this stage. Any shot I get or minor bump turns into a bruise. I have received 5 units of platelet transfusions so far and will continue to receive additional transfusions until my platelets begin to build. So it goes without saying, I am not using a straight edge to shave. I also have put one of my hobbies aside for the time being; that being playing with and sharpening knives. :>)
In case you missed it, the above paragraph covered some of the highs at this point of the journey. Yesterday, was a bit disheartening as I learned that my bone marrow biopsy showed some residual leukemic cells in my white counts. The physician team wants to do another bone marrow biopsy on Monday and get a clearer picture of exactly what exists and what therapy we should move to. Most likely, I will begin a second cycle of my previous chemo treatment with DNR and AraC to get after those remaining nasty leukemic cells. The prognosis is that the doctors are not surprised and are confident that a second cycle will "nail" the residual blast cells. What this does mean is that my stay at Northwestern Memorial Hospital will be extended an additional 3 - 4 weeks (ugh!). This is a tough one for me as I was already going "stir crazy".
I think I mentioned before that I have been studying Psalms. I think I can relate to David. Many times our timing for answers to prayers and God's timing are very different, not to mention the outcome. Like David, I found myself really down yesterday including going through the "why me" and "anger" stages. Yet through God's grace, he actually reminded me yesterday to continue to believe and have faith.
Here is the story: I was going through my work emails yesterday, which included an email from one of the managers in the company. We exchange emails on occasion with the subject being sports, sports teams and athletes. In this case, Tom sent me an email telling me that he met Tim Brown yesterday and Tim autographed his Notre Dame football. Now for those who don't recognize Tim Brown's name, he was the Heisman Trophy winner in 1987 and went on to play for the Oakland Raiders for a number of years. Anyway, Tom attached a jpg picture to the email of his ND football autographed by TB. When I opened the picture, sure enough I saw TB's autograph and his reference to winning the Heisman in '87. There was one additional item that TB had written on the football and that was a reference to "Psalm 37". If you are interested, go read Psalm 37. It deals with themes of fretting, having patience, anger,etc which I definitely experienced yesterday. For example verse 7 reads "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him...."; verse 8 "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath..."; verse 30 "The mouth of the rightwous man utters wisdom and his tongue speaks what is just"; verse 34 "Wait for the Lord and keep his way"; verse 39 "The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble". This email "out of the blue" had a huge calming effect on me yesterday. Some people may call this a coincidence. I call it an example of how God sends us messages to keep our faith. I am so thankful for his grace and his desire to sustain those who believe in him. The biggest challenge is accepting that sometimes are desires are not necessarily his desires.
I continue to experience incredible support from numerous people. Please continue to pray for my physical and mental state through this journey. Your prayers for Gail, Amanda, Jackie, and Beth are also appreciated. I have had some "rich" time with each of them through visits, phone calls, emails and text messages.
One Day At A Time!
In case you missed it, the above paragraph covered some of the highs at this point of the journey. Yesterday, was a bit disheartening as I learned that my bone marrow biopsy showed some residual leukemic cells in my white counts. The physician team wants to do another bone marrow biopsy on Monday and get a clearer picture of exactly what exists and what therapy we should move to. Most likely, I will begin a second cycle of my previous chemo treatment with DNR and AraC to get after those remaining nasty leukemic cells. The prognosis is that the doctors are not surprised and are confident that a second cycle will "nail" the residual blast cells. What this does mean is that my stay at Northwestern Memorial Hospital will be extended an additional 3 - 4 weeks (ugh!). This is a tough one for me as I was already going "stir crazy".
I think I mentioned before that I have been studying Psalms. I think I can relate to David. Many times our timing for answers to prayers and God's timing are very different, not to mention the outcome. Like David, I found myself really down yesterday including going through the "why me" and "anger" stages. Yet through God's grace, he actually reminded me yesterday to continue to believe and have faith.
Here is the story: I was going through my work emails yesterday, which included an email from one of the managers in the company. We exchange emails on occasion with the subject being sports, sports teams and athletes. In this case, Tom sent me an email telling me that he met Tim Brown yesterday and Tim autographed his Notre Dame football. Now for those who don't recognize Tim Brown's name, he was the Heisman Trophy winner in 1987 and went on to play for the Oakland Raiders for a number of years. Anyway, Tom attached a jpg picture to the email of his ND football autographed by TB. When I opened the picture, sure enough I saw TB's autograph and his reference to winning the Heisman in '87. There was one additional item that TB had written on the football and that was a reference to "Psalm 37". If you are interested, go read Psalm 37. It deals with themes of fretting, having patience, anger,etc which I definitely experienced yesterday. For example verse 7 reads "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him...."; verse 8 "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath..."; verse 30 "The mouth of the rightwous man utters wisdom and his tongue speaks what is just"; verse 34 "Wait for the Lord and keep his way"; verse 39 "The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble". This email "out of the blue" had a huge calming effect on me yesterday. Some people may call this a coincidence. I call it an example of how God sends us messages to keep our faith. I am so thankful for his grace and his desire to sustain those who believe in him. The biggest challenge is accepting that sometimes are desires are not necessarily his desires.
I continue to experience incredible support from numerous people. Please continue to pray for my physical and mental state through this journey. Your prayers for Gail, Amanda, Jackie, and Beth are also appreciated. I have had some "rich" time with each of them through visits, phone calls, emails and text messages.
One Day At A Time!
2 comments:
Hi Dennis,
I am thankful that you are at least feeling okay with all that your body is enduring. Let's nail those nasty cells!! I admire your ability to sustain yourself in the parallel universe that is the hospital setting, I remember thinking when I spent a couple days in the hospital after having a healthy baby how couragous it is for folks undergoing serious treatment to remain sane, let alone positive. I think that is certainly a testament to your 3 f's" faith, family and friendship.. okay let's make that 4 f's: faith, family, friendships and how funny you are! loads of love from the west! Stay strong xo, Holly
Thanks for the update! I'm glad to hear things seem to be going in the right direction....although taking much longer than desired. Stay Strong! - Michele
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